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7 Life Lessons I Got From 1 Critical Comment

So the other day, I got a comment on one of my live videos over on YouTube.  The comment said something to the effect of my layout was nice, but other YouTubers could do it in 10 to 15 minutes.  Wait, what?

I was almost offended by the comment, but then I had to take a step back and think about it for a second.  It really was an unfair and nonequivalent comparison, not only because I am different and unique (as each of us are), but also because the video she was watching was different from those she was comparing it to.

In her short comment, I found so many life lessons.  I had to come and share some of them with y'all.

  1.  Be all the way LIVE - The main difference between my video and the videos it was being compared to was that my video was live.  We have to remember to live our lives to the fullest... in real time, and have fun with it.
  2. Be Present - Being on a livestream means you have to be present, paying attention to everything happening all around you.  We should live our entire lives in the present.  In his book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle points out that you can never be in the past and you can never be in the future.  You can only physically be in the present.  So enjoy being there.  Living in the present, focusing only on what's going on in the moment instead of the regrets of the past or the worries of the future, will change your entire life.
  3. Acknowledge and Be Kind to Everyone You Meet  When I do a live video, one thing I make a point to do is try to acknowledge every person who joins.  I want them to feel welcomed and warm in my virtual space just as if they were in my home.  I try to answer all questions and make myself available for those who aren't comfortable chatting with me publicly.  This is because I know what loneliness feels like.  I understand feeling ignored... like I'm less than or don't matter.  I don't want anyone to feel this way, especially if I can help it.  I know I can't be all things to all people, but I can be kind to those in my presence.  Do I even have to say that this is another life lesson that should be carried out in our everyday lives, whether online or offline.
  4. Slow Down - The world is moving so quickly.  It's often said that this is a microwave generation.  Everyone wants everything instantly.  People don't want to wait or work for anything.  But think about it, have you ever had a memorable meal from a microwave?  I mean something so good you're still talking about it the next day.  I can't recall any.  But I can think of many family dinners, especially holiday dinners, that took a day and a half to prepare that were so good that we still talk about some of the dishes years later.  See the thing is, sometimes making something memorable takes a little bit longer.  Even if people leave my videos not remembering one sticker I put down, I want them to remember something I said that let them know that there's hope.  I want them to remember that there's a reason to be grateful and that there's a little bit of joy in all things, even the most painful.  I want them to remember that if I'm making it day-by-day, they can, too.  Those aren't microwave messages.
  5. There's More Than Meets the Eye - Just because the title of one of my videos says "Plan with Me" doesn't mean that's all you're going to get.  Sometimes I include hauls, sometimes there are Q&As, often there are mental health nuggets, sometimes there's even a hidden giveaway.  You never know.  In life, learn how to be flexible and available to receive the good "extra" things life has to offer.  As a matter of fact, today I went to the mailbox expecting to get my regular bills and junk mail.  Oh, but there was a completely unexpected check in there today!!  Should I get upset, complain, and throw it away because I got something more than I expected?  I bet you I won't.
  6. Make Good Choices - In life, we have to make choices, but you have to live with the consequences of those choices.  You can always choose to not watch a video for whatever reason, but you may miss the golden nuggets.  You may miss the answer to your question or the solution to a problem you've been having.  You might miss the giveaway.  You know the value of your time, your money, your energy, etc.  Make wise choices.
  7. Comparison is the Thief of Joy - Comparing yourself to others or allowing others to compare  you can really be a killjoy.  It can make you feel inadequate, and leave you being ungrateful for the blessings you have... even the blessing you ARE!  It's totally fine to be different.  Always be yourself.  Do what makes you happy.  Do what works for you.  Now I could easily adjust my style based on that feedback, but that would be counterproductive for me.  Of course, there are plenty of times that I adjust based on feedback.  I just refuse to change the way I do things simply because it's what others are doing.

Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE getting feedback and constructive criticism.  It helps me to grow.  Comparing myself to others or allowing someone else to compare me just isn't fruitful to me.

Grass almost always looks greener on the other side, but if you go stand in in, you'll see that it was only an illusion caused by the distance.  If it is greener, you might notice that it's fake or maybe, just maybe, you might smell the manure that's fertilizing it.

10 Comments

  • Charisse Audra (@prettysweetlymade on instagram)

    Hello Tarchelle! I am sorry that I missed your live. I personally enjoy lives because it allows me to see the person, products, Plan with Me, etc. in real time. I do appreciate the time taken to edit and upload videos and enjoy those as well, but I truly appreciate the realness of a live. I will be sure to go and check out the video, if it’s still available. Thank you for your insight and ability to find a lesson and share nuggets of knowledge with your audience. Your efforts and dedication are quite evident and greatly appreciated. Continue being the most beautiful you and remember to make every moment, a learning moment. Blessings to you.

  • Cheryl Kosch

    WOW! This blog brought tears to my eyes… So deep and u hit it all on the head. Also Heck No let that comment Go. That’s 1 bad seed and Lord knows You have a Million others such as myself and many more Cheering you and LOVE your LIVE IN TIME LONG ( as the comment said lol smh) VIDEOS! HATERS GONNA HATE. YOU KEEP ACCOMPLISHING YOUR DREAM! I remember the 1st time I watched ur Live and you said ” Hello Cheryl” I was so HAPPY like Yup she just said hello to ME😍 You was like a celebrity telling me Hello. I’m only 2 mths almost 3mths in planner community so that 1st hello won my heart & said after ur video… She is realistic, funny, kind, amazing n great creative mind. Sry to babble. 💖🤗

    • TarchelleB

      Hahahaha!!!!! I am nowhere near a celebrity. I’m just another planner babe out here trying to make my crazy days look pretty. I focus on the sweet, positive, kind people like you. You’re so amazing that there’s no way Negative Nancy can tear me down, especially when you’re holding me up.

  • Cheryl

    Oh & real quick lol. As I said I would real ALL ur Blogs with my Morning Cup of Coffee and I just did exactly that🤗☕ All 5 Blogs and Best part is I can Now put my 1st Check✔ on my Tuesday To do List in My Happy Planner📒💯 Cause Yeppers To Read tarchelleB Blogs is on my To Do list today. Thank you and I took Alot of Positivity from ur Blogs. Keep up being ur Best self Your Truly Inspiring 🤗💖📒✔💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

  • Lillian Lewis (@super973mom)

    Tarchelle not only are you killing it in YouTube but your blog posts are full of thoughtful information. Keep it up. I’m proud to call you my planner friend and can’t wait until I have the opportunity to meet you in person to share these word.

  • Laurie Jordan

    I discovered everything that is Tarchelle B just today; & I must say I have been missing out!! Heard you mentioned in Goldmine & CoCo’s IG live and decided to check you out on YT. And after subscribing there, I HAD to check out your blog! I love your energy. The way you deliver content & engage your audience is awesome. Definitely got a new fan here ❤❤

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